It’s January and officially a brand new year! Self care is so important during this month in particular, as after the huge Christmas build up (which pretty much starts the moment Halloween is over) it’s a well known fact that people can feel a bit deflated and the January blues can kick in. I wrote a blog post about this last year HERE if you would like some tips on how to keep positive during January.
There are a few things that we need to stop stressing about and leave well and truly behind in 2019. We really shouldn’t be over-thinking or worrying about these sort of things and I’m sure you will be able to relate.
Cosmetic procedures used to be a little secret and not something to really broadcast or talk about. However these days it seems that EVERYONE has had some sort of enhancement. Lip fillers are now a standard procedure and the majority of girls that I see on Instagram have had some kind of lip treatment and I have found myself starting to wonder if this is something I need to have done myself. I have never had any issues with my lips before, but it just goes to show that the images we see online on a daily basis, can really start to affect the way we think and how we look at ourselves, which is not a good thing. This has even led me onto looking at jaw fillers, nose fillers and an obsession with having the perfect straight, white teeth which I actually had done last year. I have nothing against anyone having a cosmetic procedure if it’s something they really want and if it makes them feel better, that’s amazing. But having procedures just for the sake of it, or because it’s seen as a trend is not healthy and we all need to learn to love ourselves as we are without comparing ourselves to how others look.
Also, our beauty regime these days is not a cheap process! We can’t just apply a quick layer of fake tan with a face of make up for a night out anymore. Now days there are so many things that us females feel the need to have done, from micro bladed brows, Russian lashes, hair extensions at £400 a session, nail extensions, tan, make up – the list goes on. To add to this, new beauty trends pop up all the time and the pressure to be involved in these sort of trends are constantly looming in the background.
“When are you having a baby then?
“You better get a move on now that you are in your 30’s”
“You don’t want to be an old mum though do you?”
If only I had a pound for the amount of times I have been asked these sort of questions! It seems that when anyone has been in a relationship for any length of time, it becomes the question that everyone feels they have the right to ask you. Perhaps some of us are just happy being a couple and enjoying life together without children. A crazy thought right?
I’ve found myself starting to get annoyed with these sort of questions. They have started coming from friends that have had their own children and there’s nothing worse than your own friends ‘pregnancy shaming’ you. I have even been questioned by my boyfriend’s friends about this subject which really surprised me. I don’t know about you, but being told by a male that you are “running out of time” just seems bizarre to me. My womb is my own business thank you very much!
So, I feel that people really should avoid asking couples about this subject. You never know, they could be trying for a baby and not getting anywhere which could be distressing for them. For me personally, it starts to make me panic and makes me feel that I am falling behind others my age which is really silly and a classic example of peer pressure. I love my life at the moment – if I want to go on holiday or on a last minute night out, I can. I don’t have to try and find a baby sitter and I don’t have scary child care costs to worry about and that suits me just fine. But equally, I do want a family of my own and I do appreciate that there is a time restriction for females but we should be allowed to do things at our own pace without judgement and without feeling the pressure from others.
The fear of missing out. This is another modern day thing that I feel all of us suffer from which needs to stop. Social media is the biggest route cause of this and we all need to remember that these platforms are a showreel of someone’s life. No one ever posts the boring bits of their day or the part where they are sitting at home in their pyjamas looking like Hagrid.
So, when you see everyone else on yet another luxurious holiday, or with yet another brand new outfit, dont let it make you feel that you are falling begind or that you are not in the same league as these people.
It’s easy to look at friends too and compare yourself to what they are doing. It’s normal to so this but it’s also important to stress that everyone has their own path in life and just because you know someone that is buying a house or getting a sparkly new kitchen and you aren’t at the moment – then that’s ok! Your time will come and if anything, it will encourage you to work towards your own goals more so enjoy the process of your own personal journey in your own time.